This is the dangerous point for me. When I feel this bad I want to ask her back so I don't keep feeling this way. It's what's happened may times before when we've broken up. I can't keep doing this.

Lidia is coming to the house to pick up the last of her stuff tonight. I have to be sure I go to my tennis class so there's no chance of me running in to her. I'm not really looking forward to playing any tennis tonight but it's something I have to do.

I'm trying really hard to keep Lidia from knowing how I'm feeling. I figure she's ready to move on and I want to make it as easy on her as I would wish it to be for me. So I'm keeping any contact or messages to a bare minimum. Who knows, maybe in the future we can be friends... the distant future... maybe.