I was waiting for Lidia to send me another message or something when I'm just starting to feel better and I didn't have to wait long! She sent a text saying the Marty's dog just died. I don't think this falls under the category of an emergency.

I can at least say that I was bothered much less than the last time she sent me a message. That time I was still feeling really bad about my whole situation but now that I'm starting to re-connect to people I think I am much stronger, emotionally than before.

That's not to say that I don't think about sending a message back and the small feeling still inside me of how much I still miss her. But now I can tell my child that "It's okay to miss her. She's basically a good person she took real good care of you while she was here, but now we need to do that for ourselves. It's okay to still feel sad, that can help motivate you to make the changes in your life for the better."

I can imagine what would happen if we got back together. I'd feel better emotionally and I'd probably even keep reaching out for new friends and such but after a few months I'd probably once again view Lidia as my main social outlet. Then a few months after that I'd be frustrated by what I was always frustrated about. A lack of deep intimacy and a lack of common interests to keep us from falling into the same boring rut that drove me crazy.