I was feeling much better but today I feel a little set-back. It's nothing too major, I am just missing her more today. I think what I am really feeling deep down is more lonely than anything else. I really counted on Lidia to be my companion. I feel I have no friends at all right now. I know that that's really not true but that's what I am feeling. I really miss having someone around to share things with even if we really didn't have all that much to share.

I signed up for a couple of events with the old singles club I belonged to. I'm going to a belly dancing show at this Mediterranean restaurant on Saturday evening. Then on Sunday is the Super Bowl party. I think both will be kind of low key events in terms of meeting up with potential dates. A large dinner party gives opportunity to talk with many different people and the Super Bowl party may be lopsided with more men than women.

I have been noticing a lot of singles sites on the Internet. There must be a lot of single people out there looking for someone. My problem is that I really don't want to jump right back into a serious relationship again. I want to work on myself first and try to resolve those issues I'm discovering that have caused me to make some bad decisions in the past.

I'm also seriously thinking about going to Vegas and visiting a legal brothel. I imagine that this would be a good way to explore sex without love, without intimacy. I mean the act gets boiled down to a business transaction. I understand you can even haggle about the price. I would probably start with just some oral at first. Maybe, in the future, I could indulge my fantasy of having 2 women at the same time. (I wonder how much that costs?) One positive aspect about a legal brothel is that the women have frequent medical examinations and STD tests and, of course, you are required to wear a condom.