Went to a singles event last night. It was a dinner and game night at the club owner's house. As usual I was there a bit early so I sat in the car and waited for a few minutes as other people drove up. When I went into the house I couldn't believe how messy it was.

I was feeling sad as I've been missing Lidia a lot lately and I was a bit disappointed about the people who were showing up. I hate to sound so shallow but the women definitely tend toward being overweight and it was funny that most of the men there were of average build. The few guys that were very heavy were not single. Go figure!

The one woman that I spent a lot of time talking to was Denise. I shared a little bit of the wine that she brought. It was a really good Cabernet. I was worried that it was going to be very dry like the cabs I've tried before. It was from a winery called Castle Creek, I think. I only had one glass of wine for the entire night. Denise brought her own game to play and wouldn't you know it was Scene It!

How ironic. That was the last game I played when I was still with Lidia. I have a copy and we played it over the X-mas holiday with the friends she invited. I was bragging on well I would do then and my team came in last. Too funny! I remember being sad when we played because Lidia didn't play at all. She just sat and watched the rest of us play without her. I didn't understand why, we went to a lot of movies together and we've seen a lot of older ones on the myriad of movie channels I subscribe to. I wished she would have at least tried to play. It was fun and part of the fun is guessing when you don't know the answer.

This time my team won. We beat the hell out of everyone else and it was mostly because I answered the last few questions on my own. I found them very easy and a few of the other players knew the correct answer but I beat them to the finish!

I remember feeling sad at the beginning of the evening because I felt we were all a bunch of pathetic losers who didn't have friends or couldn't get a date. As the evening progressed though, I total revised my thinking. I really had a good time after all. Even though I didn't meet anyone I would consider dating, I felt like part of group and my team was very, very happy that I was with them and could help them win. I guess that's a little bit of conditional self-acceptance on my part but I do think I would have just as enjoyable a time even if my team had lost.

I think I need to work on my unconditional self-acceptance. I don't need to prove anything to anyone.