I just can't talk to or have contact with Lidia. I feel pretty sad again about our break up. I tried to be nice about her accident and allowing her to get her furniture whenever she wants. I didn't think it would be a big deal anyway. Now, I feel guilty about calling her a liar about her car getting hit. I really don't know what to think about that but why did she tell me in two separate emails that she'd taking it to Rick's Body Shop on Raintree.

She may have unconsciously wanted me to feel sorry for her and it fucking worked. I felt bad about checking on her but I was really curious to see how much damage there was and if it may have affected her physically. Then I put myself in a position to feel guilty about how I responded. I even wanted to see her face to face for many reasons. Not the least of which was to see how I felt around her physically and, yes, to give her a chance to come on to me. (Or maybe me to her.)

I again felt sad that that didn't happen. She obviously doesn't want to see me face to face. I've definitely given her a couple of opportunities to do so. So, even though she seems to be staying away physically, she's still staying in touch through email and text. I am glad that I'll be completely out of touch for almost 2 weeks.

My feelings are slowly fading but every time she contacts me I feel that I fall right back into those feelings of loss, sadness, loneliness and abandonment! I wonder how she's feeling?