Okay, at the very least my suspicions were confirmed. I just read that Lidia has moved in with her new boyfriend. I fucking wonder whose idea that was? At least she waited a couple more months than she did with me. She said that they're very compatible which is exactly what she said about us during the first months we started living together. Well with us, we started having problem in just a few months of living together. I do wish her all the best though and that she finds what she's looking for.

In her prior email Lidia said that she feels better about herself. Which is easy when you have someone to be with. The beginnings of relationships are always the best part. You feel wanted and possibly loved but it can be because you are doing and saying things just so the other person will like you. It's sort of like a sales pitch.

She said she feels more in control of her life but I totally don't understand that when she's in such a hurry to move in with someone that she may not really know so well. That's not my idea of being in control of your own life. She has such co-dependency issues and add to that her preoccupation with her finances it just drives her to find someone to cling to.

And you've got to wonder just how honest she was with him? I mean they met at her massage job. I saw his name on one of her pay sheets from back in November, it may have been earlier even. We were still a couple then although, I know she was already looking at getting out. This was the time she was talking to Ron a lot. I figure she never told him we were living together as a couple. I bet she told him that we were just roommates, that is, if she said anything at all about her living situation. She had hidden all the photos of us together over New Years. What kind of a relationship can she expect if it starts out with her being so deceptive and yes, dishonest?

I will admit that I'm hurt and angry. The hurt comes from me being replaced so quickly. It seems to me that she just jumps right into the arms of the first guy who's nice to her. I know I would be dating Elaine right now if things had gone just a little different but I highly doubt that I would be anywhere near as far along as Lidia is with Will.

The anger comes from all the lies and deceptions that Lidia made during our relationship. She justifies it by saying that I lied to her about security, improving things and, of course, quitting drinking but I didn't lie about any of those things. Just because they didn't happen doesn't mean I lied about wanting to do them. I can say with a completely clear conscience, that I tried! Because I failed doesn't mean I lied about it! So did she lie when she said she wanted to make things better and she didn't? Did she lie when she said she wanted to practice oral sex and she didn't? Did she lie when she said that she wanted to have passionate sex with me and she didn't? You could use that excuse for anything that the other person said but didn't follow through on.

Pretty much everything she told me since she moved out was bullshit! That's lying! When she says she's moving in with her co-worker but she's really moving in with her boyfriend. THAT"S A FUCKING LIE! I do feel sorry for her. I imagine she's very confused inside eve though she doesn't realize it and doesn't understand why her relationships go so wrong. I guess it's not as obvious to her as it is to me that she's doing the same thing over and over again. Maybe, just maybe, she found the right person this time.

I can't believe that she was so afraid of me that she felt she had to lie. In fact I would have told her to get her stuff out sooner! Mary Ann had told me that I was stupid for letting her store her stuff here. Man, she was so right. If Lidia had taken her stuff when she first moved out, she could have taken the secretary! Ha-Ha!

So why the fuck did she keep contacting me? Why did she tell what she was doing and how hard she was working and how she had no time to do anything but work? Why did she want copies of that CD? Even toward the end she could have just emailed me that she wanted her stuff. Why call me directly and tell me such a blatant lie? She really is messed up inside!

So, on the lighter side of this story:

1. At least I probably don't have to envy them for having killer sex. Nothing kills passion like co-habitation. Yeah, couples have more frequent sex but singles have the more passionate sex.

2. If I want her back I just have wait a couple of years or so. Divorce is higher among those who live together first and co-habitators are more likely to split than to marry. See Here