How funny in a sad, sad way. After my last session I found out quite a bit about Lidia's new BF. She's jumping in again way before she knows if they're really compatible or not. She says they're very compatible and maybe they are but moving in together is probably not a good way to find out for sure. It's how they deal with conflict that will really determine if they can live together for the long term.

Of course she's so passive-aggressive that she'll pretty much swallow any grief he gives her and then she'll spend her time sulking and making him feel guilty. She's good at that, I should know. And in the end, when they eventually split, she'll say that they were the ones who couldn't make it work because she was not the one who broke it off. Like lying to and deceiving her BF is any way to make a relationship work. She must be so good at convincing herself that she's in the right. That she's always the victim. No wonder she feels like she doesn't have any control of her life and that she often doesn't feel so good about herself. Again, I feel so sorry for her.

She also told my therapist that her new BF isn't very interested in sex. She said that that was a big relief. She doesn't have to worry about him wanting it all the time. That came as a small surprise to me. She would continually manipulate me with the lure of passionate sex. She said that she wanted to grow and explore her sexuality with me but now it seems she just isn't interested in sex very much at all. I sort of knew that very soon after we moved in together. It's just not in her and she's not interested in changing that.

This leads me to believe that she's very afraid of deep intimacy as well. Good sex can foster that deep, deep bond between two people. It's what I really wanted for both of us but she kept avoiding it. She wants a relationship at any cost except at the cost of getting to close to someone who may hurt you. It's a no-win proposition for her and I feel very, very sad for her.

Almost everything she said to me was a lie.

• She said "we could date" even after she moved out.
• Working so much she doesn't have time to date.
• Working so much she's so stressed out.
• Working so much her body is aching.
• Spending her week off with Celia.
• Only saw/dated her BF on Saturdays.
• He was independent - out of town a lot.
• He was not there enough for her.
• Not sure if he's "the one"
• Doesn't know if he even wants to move in together - big lie.
• Moving in with Shauna - big lie!

I think what's the most shocking, sad and hurtful thing I've learned about Lidia is the ease that she lies with. She can easily and fully justify her bad behavior so that she finds lying to someone you "truly care about" is the right thing to do! She has no empathy for others. She has no ability to look at things from any other viewpoint but her own. She's so selfish and self-centered. Even when she's being giving and supportive it is mostly because she realizes she HAS to do that sort of thing to stay in the relationship, any relationship. She's so fucked up inside it's so, so sad...