Damn. So here's a thought from the Devil's Advocate side of my brain. (I wish that fucker would just shut the fuck up!)

Is she really so thoughtless that she leaves all these fucking clues around that she's cheating on me?

I mean I busted her cleanly when she lied about getting a massage but she continued to deny it. I even listened to her voice mail. She could have easily erased them right after listening to them! She had no other way to explain why her car wasn't out front either so it was easy to see that parking in back was a lie too.

She said she did the laundry on Tuesday but she left her dirty clothes in the hamper 3 days after she said she had worn them. They were the only things in the fucking hamper!

I can only conclude that she wanted to get caught. Like some fucking psycho, serial killer who knows they're doing something bad but they can't stop themselves.

Maybe, she realized that our relationship was way beyond repair but didn't have the spine to end it.

The flaw here is then why, oh why, didn't she leave the first time I ended it? Why didn't she leave the second time?

Even this last, final time she hinted that she thought we might reunite a year or so later, just like her boss Dr. Allison and Allison's husband did. She mentioned a few times that they were separated for almost a year but they reconciled when Bill, the husband started taking anti-ADD medication! But, in our case, she's the one who needs medication and I need to quit drinking.

Man, I wonder what the fuck goes on in that brain of hers! She's either an Evil Genius or Totally Clueless!

To my audience of, hopefully, one, I fully realize how hostile this all reads and I want to reassure you that I would never abuse her physically nor verbally, though I've done that before. I will admit that I do so want to cuss her out!

I would like to write her one last email laying out what my suspicions are. I would not use a single curse word but I would necessarily, call her a cheater and a liar. I also want to tell her that I never, ever want to see her again and the she can't set foot in my house again nor her new boyfriend. She would have to send Marty and Neal only to pick up her stuff.

I want to discuss this.